investing on friendships

Any good relationship is founded on a strong, constant connection. It's an investment in time, in everyday personal anecdotes, in multiple eye contacts, in texts messages, in meaningful personal contact, in spittle. Enough funding will lead to laughter and good times; when even the most mundane topics are most enjoyable because it is shared. It is personal. It is yours. However, in some cases, previously good relationships that have become sporadic are more complicated. While the past will always be with you, the present (and future) can be a bit harder to wrestle. The lack of shared inanities lead to less topics of conversation. The lameness of jokes aren't enjoyed. Everyday personal anecdotes seem too insignificant to share. You are left to discuss big issues such as personal struggles and achievements if you don't want to succumb to small talk. And there are only so many issues to tackle before you get bored, before awkward silences arise.

Silences are broken by nostalgic trips down memory lane because in the end, that's the only thing you have left. That is unless you clear your schedules, decide to make a commitment, save your saliva and start investing.

to blog again

After reading so many raw and brutally honest blogs, i became envious. I've come to the realization that i should stop blogging just to rant and to just start writing. anything. like everything else, introspection is a habit that needs practice. and because i am highly lacking in a little self-analysis, i will blog.

It's 2am and my body clock is still whacked. this all started when they started showing Globe Trekker (aka Lonely Planet) for a limited period that ended at around this time. And with a 'new' second hand TV in my room and wi-fi in my laptop, i've come to realize that there's just so much useless but fun stuff you can do. if only these were important enough to be remembered in a week's time, then i'd say the shorter slumbers were all worth it. Right now i'm not so sure.

It's my mom's birthday and we ended up spending it in one of the best kept secrets in Binondo. It's really amazing how a country's massive population and strong culture can convert an area, no matter how foreign into, Chinatown--a community so distinct that it's like a sovereign state in itself. I really found it interesting that i was eating authentic duck beside a table of teens that looked like they really came from the mainland. I'm not exaggerating on this. They really looked nothing like any of the Filipino-Chinese friends i have and i have quite a few. They looked like pedestrian versions of the Meteor Garden cast, with their authentic accents, disheveled hair and deconstructed get-ups. It was surreal, really. However, I think they were more shocked that a group of 10 indios with 6 rowdy kids in tow were eating dumplings with forks and celebrating a birthday in an old noodle house. Tit-for-tat.

A high school classmate of mine is getting married on sunday and i was really shocked that i was invited. Totally unexpected. He was never my 'barkada' though we did share a love for comics and he did hitch with me because his house was along the way, but other than that, i've never really hung out with him the past 14 years. I don't even know his fiancee. Heck, i didnt even know that he wasn't married yet! I was touched, though, and i did RSVP. He's a decent guy and i'd love to witness an important part of his life. It's the least I could do for the trouble he went to to personally deliver the invitation to me. And its not like we had a tumultuous past or anything. If he thinks i'm worthy enough to be there, who am i to refuse? It would be fun. And i wish him (and her) the best of luck.

There. i think this will do for now. A little more practice and i should be introspecting like Siddhartha.

On choosing friends

I recently got an email from a friend:

"Associate only with positive, focused people who you can learn from and who will not drain your valuable energy with complaining and uninspiring attitudes. By developing relationships with those committed to constant improvement and the pursuit of the best that life has to offer, you will have plenty of company on your path to the top of whatever mountain you seek
to climb."

I think my subconscious wanted to add something to this as I was trying to take a nap this afternoon:

We need to stay with friends who believe in our potential, whose vision of us is loftier than our own dreams.

CRITICAL Acclaim

I just saw the premiere of Sweeny Todd, the Demon Barber from Fleet Street. It was a film that left me speechless because I didn't know what to make of it. I knew it won the Golden Globes, I knew it was a Tim Burton movie but it still turned out to be stranger, bloodier and more disturbing than anything i'd expected and up to now, i'm not sure if i liked it.

A few people clapped after the movie, a few walked hurriedly to the exits while many others (my friends and I included) were a bit burdened and confused that we needed a minute to gain composure. OK this may be a bit exaggerated but our anxiety was real and the applause or apathy of others didnt help allay our lingering unease.

I think the extremely mixed reactions for the movie had a lot to do with the reviews it got. Oftentimes, a good review is much deserved and everyone's happy. Other times it brings in the crowds but raises people's expectations too much that it ends up disappointing. And then there are other times, though few and far between, that a film is a collaboration of the best in the industry and rakes in the awards and the praises that personal opinion is superceded by the film's stature. This is when there are only 2 groups of audience--those who got it and loved it and those who just didn't get it but have a forgiving 'it's not you, it's me' attitude about it. I think Sweeny Todd will be one such movie and i'm part of the latter. :P

One Good Day Coming Up

I woke up early for work today primarily because i woke up a little too late for my nth attempt at a morning gym workout. Though early is relative (i really woke up at 8am), for a night person like me, it was a welcome experience nontheless. For once i was not praying for time to slow down as i was brushing my teeth. I even had a leisurely breakfast (i made mozzarella & herbs toasts!), lied down a bit longer and even did some morning exercises to compensate for my absence at the gym.

Just as the success of a hit song lies on its first few chords, the overall feel and experience of a whole day seems to be largely dictated by the first few waking moments. Now if only that was a good enough reason to convince myself to wake up early, or at least make this a more frequent anomaly. Ü

High school never ends.

The new year is a perfect backdrop for the traditional class reunion. I didn't realize that we were 10 years out of high school and from how everyone acted that day, it really didn't seem like a decade has past. Sure most have added meat (or is it fat?) on their bones, a few more laugh lines, slightly higher hairlines but you could put us in a classroom and be transported to the mid-90s sans Doc Martens and Girbauds.

I'm sure many of us have hopefully grown up since then but i guess its difficult to act like a hotshot lawyer, a 'showbiz' personality, a manager with an MBA or to be pretentious around people who've seen 4 year's worth of your boogers and bloopers. The dynamics are no different either. The clowns were still funny, the leaders were still leading, the 'outcasts' still ostracized (although a bit toned down this time) and everyone still had the same brand of kenkoy humor that we've grown to miss.

I don't think this will change. Ever. A school of thought in market research says its better to segment your consumer by their personalities because unlike economic class and age groups, these hardly ever change and people carry these throughout their life. I guess there's some truth to that. Mother nature may bestow on us with flabbier bellies and grayer hair but we're still basically the same old immature kids. High school reunions are just perfect excuses to regress to our real selves, minus the disillusions and regrets, to return to hopefully happier times when your biggest problem was how to pass an exam.

Overtime Work: The Need of Man

It's past midnight and i'm cramming an important presentation.
I'm working from home.
I’m experiencing the first symptoms of an advertising pitch that will surely progress into a tiring, sleepless and chaotic typhoon that will suck in everything in its path. Daunting? Yes, but also very, very exhilirating.

It’s been months since my last pitch, since I last feared for my job and thanked the gods that I have tenure. However, I think that to a certain degree, we all enjoy the work-life balance upheaval, albeit in a weird, masochistic kind of way.

In today’s hypoallergenic world of health insurance, hypermarts and organic free range poultry, our primal urges to hunt, and its accompanying perils of possible death or decapitations have been channeled to capitalistic pursuits that are of equally great consequence. And I guess we’re all hungry for our next catch—a mammoth of an account!